3 Simple, Un-weird Ways to Start Spiritual Conversations

If you’ve followed this blog for awhile, you know I taught refugees for a handful of years, many of them Muslim–people and a task I adored.

I was surprised to learn a difference between the Bible and the Qur’an: The Qur’an isn’t a narrative, like much of the Bible is. (The Qur’an is laid out more like Psalms or Proverbs.) 

That’s part of how I witnessed God’s emphasis on story. He isn’t just interested in story for moral instruction. We see both the Father and the Son asking questions of people throughout the Bible, asking them to share their stories and thoughts. (Jesus asks 307!)

God wants to interact with our own stories, and with others’. And He does use them to pull us into spiritual conversations: not for an agenda, but because He cares–so what gives us life spiritually matters. (Don’t miss How Not to Share Jesus with Your Friends.)

He asks things like, “Where are you?”

“What do you want me to do for you?”

“Why are you afraid?”

As I think about talking about my faith–something so core to my hope, my love for people–I take at least three essential notes from His playbook…and hopefully avoid that #weirdChristian factor.

3 Simple Ways to Start Spiritual Conversations

God designs people’s stories to bring them to Him. We need to ask about their stories with little agenda other than loving them.

In the Gospels, I see people tracking down Jesus for their own healing. Their own stories compelled them. 

Maybe this means asking your barista about her tattoo. Or using the time on the sidelines at your kid’s sports event to ask about what’s really going on in another parent’s life. Or picking up on conversational threads that indicate people’s major life events, so you can learn more about what’s shaped them.

Or just say, “Tell me more.”

People can sniff out back-door evangelism a mile away. So first and always, love people. Then, because of that love, when it happens, make the most of every opportunity to give a reason for the hope that you have (Ephesians 5:16, 1 Peter 3:15).

(Find a few thoughtful spiritual conversation starters here. Just use them with discernment.)

Active listening, presence, empathy: three of the most critical skills in evangelism or apologetics.

I’ve heard and been trained in a lot of evangelistic methods in my years in the Church.

But when it comes to spiritual conversations, so many people aren’t interested in Christianity because of pain in their past…or even emotional trauma from someone in the Church.

In fact, evangelism itself has communicated to a lot of people that we don’t see them. We just want their souls, thank you very much.

Gandhi once advised, “There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.”

Is it possible there are people so hurt or bewildered God appears most poignantly to them in the form of someone who receives their pain?

What could change if someone listened to their hurt?

What could change when, like Phillip and the Ethiopian (Acts 8:26-40), we take time–even months, years–to connect someone’s dots to Jesus?

Remove the “must get this person saved now” urgency—not because it’s not urgent, but because we share Jesus in faith, at appropriate (not socially naive) moments, trusting in God’s long game. Just like farming, you can’t harvest when you’re planting seeds or watering (see 1 Corinthians 3:6).

Start or continue spiritual conversations by learning to tell your own story.

Like any of the characters in the Bible, God speaks through your story, your wild ride through life. And He doesn’t really cover up the nasty bits; they communicate how powerful He is.

Spiritual conversations start with our willingness to invite people into a purpose, a love, a hope we can’t shut up about–like we would if someone we loved were pregnant, or we’d discovered a cure for cancer.

(If spiritual conversations are hard for you, maybe take time to consider whether you actually think you’re giving people something good.)

To start piecing your story together, start with 

• Who you were before Christ.
• The story that brought you to Christ.
• How you’ve changed.

This article gives you a good start. The author points out, “Every great story contains four movements: Creation, Fall, Redemption, and Restoration. God’s Story follows the same pattern.”

#NoWeirdChristians Tip: Avoid any words you don’t hear secular people using in a coffee shop. (This list of Christianese totally makes me laugh when I’m not rolling my eyes or gasping in shame.)

Then, Cru suggests asking permission like this: “Can I tell you a little bit about my spiritual experience?”

Don’t shy away from your own story–and don’t underestimate the importance of discovering someone else’s. Who knows what eternal stuff could grow?

Keep listening and leaning in, friends.

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