Author’s note: I’m pretty stoked. September 30 marks the release of my second book, Deliver Us from Meltdowns: And Other Real-World Prayers for Parents; if you’d like, get it on pre-order now!
It’s been a fun project. A mix of theology, emotional health, and a good dose of humor, these sixty prayers are for moments hectic and holy–at least they are in my house.
I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing like parenting to bring me to my knees.
I’ll drip out a few of these prayers around the release date, and here’s the first, for when your child shuts you out.
To the Patron Saint of Sturdy Doors: When Your Child Shuts You Out
Opener When We Knock,
I’ve been shut out. Real or metaphorical, there’s a closed door between this child and me.
Part of me may want to wheedle or cajole. Or sweat and chew my nails. Or bait them with pizza. Perhaps force my way in, figurative guns blazing. Gotta say, I’m not a fan of stonewalling (at least on this side of the equation).
Here’s what I know: You love unity. You are unity—the Three in One. You hold all things together—including this scattered mind and this scattered family. Mind lending a hand?
You know this kid’s story: why they’re turned away, or hiding. You’re present with me here, them there.
Grant me insight into their emotions and responses, why they’d rather be alone than together, and what this is really about. Beneath my anger, hurt, or fear, generate curiosity as to why I’m staring at this obstinate plank of wood rather than my child’s eyes.
This barrier is the opposite of what I want with this child. I want to know and understand and receive. But it’s my child’s story to tell.
Rather than manipulating or demanding, let me treat their emotions—including those beneath the anger—with the kindness and respect You show me. Even when my child is childish, malicious, suspicious, vicious.
I need Your ideas and rapport to regain trust and hold that trust as sacred—yet refrain from multitasking as a doormat.
In Your hand, You hold all hearts involved. Make them soft all the way around. Mine. This child’s. Any other involved parties. Show me any contribution of mine, and how to repent . . . without groveling.
Whether this kid needs a cool-off or there’s a bridge to be built, loan me patience for the long game. I don’t just want my child to spill the tea or contribute to breezy family interactions. I long to earn an invitation to a more intimate relationship by mirroring Your trustworthiness.
Help us reach toward each other, even when one of us is more comfortable there inside Fort Knox.
You’re the best at this. In fact, You become the Door for us; You open doors no one can shut. You know what it’s like to go the distance to bring Your kids close.
Even when it feels like trying to reach through a wall.
Amen.*
*Source Scripture references: Deuteronomy 6:4, John 17:21, Jeremiah 31:3; Romans 2:4, 9:18, Colossians 1:17, Psalm 139:7–17; Proverbs 16:9, 21:1Revelation 3:8, John 10:7.
(C) 2025 Hollan Publishing. Used with permission.
