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self talk identity Elvira

Recently I noticed something curious as a friend described talking to herself.

She leaned forward. Her eyebrows turned down into arrows. She jabbed a pointer finger repeatedly, thumb held up like a pistol.

It was crazy: It was as if there were two of her. The bouncer version of herself, whipping the schlumping, cowering version of herself into shape.

As I observed this, we were joking around a bit. So another friend piped up: “I think we should name her Elvira.”

(I’d never want to meet Elvira in a dark alley.)

What does Elvira hate about you?

We guffawed. I kept imagining black-leather clad Elvira, tramping around in biker boots. But I had to ask. “What does Elvira hate about you?”

Elvira, it turns out, really likes to shame my friend into performing better. (I am becoming less fond of Elvira.) I wondered if God talked to my friend like Elvira, but she insisted he didn’t. (Maybe we should rename Elvira something more obvious like Lucy. …Fer.)

I know Girl, Wash Your Face will tell you to rein in the lies you tell yourself,  though I’ve got issues with her solutions (don’t miss Have You Considered Trying Harder: The Theology of Rachel Hollis.)

But when I see Jesus confronted with lies in the desert, I see him confronting Satan and the threats against Jesus’ identity (“If you really are the Son of God…”) with Scripture. Not muscle or hustle.

Three Pet Lies

Author Christopher Heuertz, in The Sacred Enneagram, points out that each of Jesus’ temptations in the desert coincides with a specific declaration of God at Jesus’ baptism just before:

sacred enneagram identity self-talk

Heuertz further helps us understand how these address three core lies of our identity (identified by Henri Nouwen):

  • “I am what I do” (craving power and control)
  • “I am what others say or think about me” (craving affection and esteem)
  • “I am what I have” (craving security and survival)

When you’re honest, which one or two are your pet lies?

When you sense Elvira skulking around

Call her out.

It’s a little like AA: The first step is identifying you have a problem.

Maybe that’s why I like calling our unbiblical thinking “Elvira”. She helps me identify that all is not right in how I’m thinking–instead, sorting out what’s constructive from what’s corrupting. I imagine a bunch of elementary schoolers streaming into a building, and I have to grab the one traipsing in with them who could hurt my kids.

First John 4:1 reminds me, “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”

Keep in mind your Elvira might not be mean. She might be afraid, struggling to hear God’s courageous truth. Our Enemy is clever enough to disguise himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14), dovetailing with our personalities, fears, and cravings. (Don’t miss  Hungry: When Soul-cravings Leave Us Vulnerable.)

Lock her up and dissolve her with truth.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ…

2 Corinthians 10:5

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

This is different than positive thinking, friends.

Tim Keller points out that in 1 Corinthians 4:6, Paul employs an unusual Greek word for pride: physioo. Keller explains it

literally means to be overinflated, swollen, distended beyond its proper size. It is related to the word for ‘bellows’.

…It brings to mind a rather painful image of an organ in the human body, an organ that is distended because so much air has been pumped into it…it is overinflated and ready to burst. It is swollen, inflamed and extended past its proper size. And that, says Paul, is the condition of the natural human ego.*

I don’t know about you, but positive thinking feels more like inflating myself every day–or being punctured by whatever doesn’t meet those key appetites of achievement, approval, or security (don’t miss the post Holes: And why you should know yours (or your kids’).

Positive thinking is a bunch of hooey.

I need, instead, to remember that Jesus has already won the verdict for me in the daily courtroom. My identity–thanks to him–consists of being a daughter, loved, on whom favor rests. Thanks to Jesus.

Using Scripture, go beat up Elvira.

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*Keller, Timothy. The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness. 10Publishing. Kindle Edition.