The Events of January 6: 5 Ways to Talk and Deal as a Family

My eleven-year-old put into words what likely more than one American has been thinking about the tragic and troubling events of January 6. “2021 was supposed to be better than 2020! We’re only six days in!”

And then there was my 16-year-old’s assessment. “If we were describing the U.S. in terms of health, I’d say we’re spiking a fever.”

Remember all those posts about awareness of your stressed self? The cumulative events leading to Wednesday’s storming of the U.S. capitol building–including 4 deaths and 50+ events–is yet another in a wearying, frustrating string of events we’re trying to explain to our kids while sorting them out ourselves.

To the fullness of what’s age-appropriate, talk about it.

Conversations about world events–and any events in our kids’ lives–are chances to impart a godward worldview. To show our kids God’s ways:

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 6:7

We don’t need to shove events under the rug so our kids don’t get anxious or don’t grapple with reality. We can teach resilience and thoughtfulness, and bring Jesus all the way into our world.

Yes, be conscious of your individual kids and how they’ll interface with another disaster. But snowplowing the real world out of our home is rarely the way we want to go in raising world-changers.

Let’s talk about this together.

Tell them this isn’t okay.

The conversation in my kitchen this morning actually turned to whether yesterday’s reactions are ever justified in the name of any convictions.

Whether you share the protesters’ convictions or not, I frequently have healthy conversations with my testosterone-charged teenaged sons–one of whom aspires to the military–about how we handle injustice.

And if/when the Bible ever justifies force or subversion under the new covenant.

What’s God Think About This?

The past few months have had my own family mulling over the lives of men like Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Peter (who cut off a servant’s ear in the name of Jesus) and commentaries on passages like

• Romans 13 (commanding submission to government…and written beneath Nero’s persecuting rule)
• Matthew 5:43-48 (about turning the other cheek)
• Romans 12:17-21 (“Repay no one evil for evil…so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”)
• Luke 22:36-37 (where Jesus tells the disciples to buy swords)
• John 18:22-23 (where Jesus rebukes a person who strikes him)

The short, very tenuous understanding we’re developing: Jesus commands resisting personal revenge and insults, but still advocates self-defense and the rescue of those in our care (see Psalm 72:12-14 and 82:3-4)–like those we rescue from trafficking (sometimes by force) and abusive situations.

People much smarter and theologically literate than I can give your family more thorough answers, like in this article from The Gospel Coalition.

But friends, my sons are not fighting Nazi Germany. We are not in Communist China, smuggling Bibles. This is not an autocracy or dictatorship.

And as Al Mohler writes,

If we’re going to declare this constitutional system as lacking legitimacy, we better understand that there will be something far, far worse to take its place.

Our kids must understand violence is simply not the way of the people of God with the exception of very few circumstances (i.e. someone’s breaking into your home and could kill your family).

Violence is condemned throughout Scripture: “[The Lord’s] soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence” (Psalm 11:15).

Ordered liberty, Mohler explains, was put to the test yesterday. At the end of the day, it proved resilient.

Let’s teach kids to trust not their own ability to wield power–or even to place their hope in government–but in the God who removes kings and sets up kings (Daniel 2:20-21), who is Lord over all.

Show your faith in God’s control.

And in that vein, rather than yet another year of hand-wringing–our hope has never been rooted in the United States government and its stability.

Our trust in the Prince of Peace, who as long as he sees fit, upholds peace in our country as he does anywhere peace is found (in Revelation 6, that peace is taken away).

Our hope is built on nothing less. When you and your kids are–like the rest of us–tempted by fear and worry, sink into truth. Write them on your marker boards, your forearms, your sticky notes and bathroom mirrors. Pray them before bed.

Pray together for our country.

Last night, our dinner table discussion was pretty animated. I wasn’t fond of all the reactions, but my husband and I generally to try to create a family culture of less outright censorship, more discussion, y’know? January 6 happened. Let’s chat.

But at the end, I experience one of those Gosh, I’m glad I married you moments.

Because my husband just said, “Let’s just take some time to pray about this.”

And my kids dropped their forks, and we did.

If our nation is in metaphor spiking a fever, showing its own signs of infection–let us continue to “seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare” (Jeremiah 29:7).

Teach them how to deal with their own anger.

Because this post could get reeeeeeally long, please find my practical ideas in the article I wrote for FamilyLife.com, Raising Kids in Outrage Culture.

I’ll expand on these in my book releasing this fall, Permanent Markers: Creative Choices for Holy Moments with Your Kids. (I know, I know. Shameless plug.)

Like this post? Check out

Spiritual Life Skills for Kids: Courage (with Book List & Printables!)

Fear: 4 Ways It’s Robbing You &Your Kids Blind

The Breath We Breathe: On Fear–and Trust in the Middle of Danger