Here We Go: Another Personal Update

So personal updates can feel a little like coming out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck on my shoe? Talking about my life, as well as finding material my four teenagers rubber stamp, feels…well. Awkward.

But I do appreciate the ways so many of you follow this blog, occasionally reaching out with your thoughts and encouragement. So consider this a right-back-at-ya.

Pull up a chair.

First one out.

My oldest son graduated high school at mid-term, began a full-time job, and has enjoyed fixing random vehicles (a surprising source of male community) and making some important trips with family before…he begins boot camp with the U.S. Marine Corps a week from tomorrow.

People have asked me how I’m doing with this.

That’s a bit of a moving target, especially since the last two months he’s surged in a lot of maturity and emotional intelligence. Sometimes he and I will sit out on the porch or the deck in the dark and talk about life; he headed to the park to chat with my husband and play catch the other night.

Of course other times he acts like he’s 18. So there’s that.

I’m sure it’s no shock to hear me say parenting has been so exquisitely painful, and so beautiful.

Not a lot of this reality has hit me yet. Though I’m 41, my crowded, rowdy nest has begun an emptying process that may well conclude in just five years. And as our first child leaves, the dynamic of our family is about to change significantly.

This is worthy of some mourning and time, but it’s been hard for me to prioritize that as I should, maybe because it hasn’t hit me yet.

We gave in.

After about a year of the kids begging us for a dog (haven’t had one since we left Uganda five years ago!)–we decided on something shed-free, small (for our small house), and not prone to barking. Because I pretty much can’t keep anything else alive right now.

So–meet Charlie, the newest member of the fan. We are kinda in love.

Because of all the opinionated teens in this house, it took us four days to whittle down the list of 37-ish names to something no one said, “Seriously?!” to.  (Charlie it is.)

He’s a nine-week-old Havanese who should max out at 10-12 pounds, and a cuddlebug. He’s sleeping through the night, but got up to play at 4:30 this morning.

Good thing he’s adorable.

Where’d he go?

My husband spent four and a half out of six weeks this late spring traveling internationally, primarily

with the missions organization we’re with, Engineering Ministries International.

EMI provides architecture, engineering, design, and construction services for Christian organizations around the world that help the poor–so water projects, hospitals, schools, that kind of thing.

He serves as the global director of Human Resources for our offices around the world. (He’s really good at it–does a great job caring for people, helping them stay in their countries sustainably, and developing our staff to become healthy leaders.)

The non-blog activities.

Maybe you wonder what I’m up to when I’m not book-writing or wrangling teenagers. A consolidated run-down:

• FamilyLife is my largest client. I’ve been contentedly immersed in content strategy and writing for a huge, multi-faceted project for those who want to make an impact in their neighborhoods. I’m also helping author an upcoming resource for those helping resettled families (including immigrants and refugees, which is a significant boost to me in light of my years teaching refugees in Uganda).  And I’m running point on content strategy for some online courses, like The (Nearly) Complete Guide to Married Sex. I’m still writing articles, marketing copy, some PDF downloads, and all that jazz.
• I’m still editor at GoServeLove.net, a website mobilizing the next generations overseas.
• I’ve been cowriting a biography for Cherish Uganda,  and am chewing on another cowriting opportunity.
• I’m still happily singing on the worship team at my church, as well as participating in other energizing ways there.
• I write for Thrive Ministry (for women global workers) and for YMItoday, a Christian blog in Asia.

Uptick in speaking.

It’s been fun for me to dive into a little more speaking with Thrive, MOPS, women’s retreats–you get the idea. I’m a little surprised to learn something new I enjoy/excel at when I’m 40-ish?!

(If somehow your church or org could use a speaker, contact me here.)

Tough year.

Though there are a lot of reasons I haven’t given you a personal update in a year and a half or so (not to mention talking about myself feels a little like dipping my hands in a vat of acid)–maybe you’ve gathered from posts that it’s been a tough year of parenting and life.

(Check out posts like Muscle for Your Kids’ Miracles…or Your Own and Not Enough: When Self-Doubt is Real.)

I am now raising four teens. And more than one has had a really tough year.

Because of this and part of the personal path I’ve climbed returning from Africa, I’ve struggled with minor depression and anxiety this year–and actively sought help.

In better news, the lean years have welded my husband and I together. I’m hesitant to talk much about this because it can be particularly hard for readers who aren’t in that place in life.

But after 22 years of marriage, I’m more in love than ever–in a different, more layered and complex way, yet more permanent and hardy and encompassing.

And the intimacy with God is real. As are the resources he’s churning up here in this valley and other people to step in with my kids–not the least of which is his indomitable Holy Spirit in all of us.

Random weirdness I’ve been interested in other than great fiction and dark chocolate.

• In an open attempt to outwardly order the inward rabble, I went organizing-crazy for about four months, and have managed for the house to maintain its resistance to the gravity of slobbery.

Home organization (as opposed to administration) has never been me. In high school a friend gave me a button: “I’m not messy. I’m creative.” I still don’t know how to take that?

My own hyper-organized mother has confirmed my home is organized. This counts, people.

I branched out to making our home more cozy and hygge. It worked.

• My friend got me into three-ingredient crepes, which is my breakfast go-to:
  • Blend
    • 2 c. any milk
    • 1.5 c flour (I dump in some flaxseed for nutrition and reduce the flour by 1/4 cup)
    • 3 eggs
  • Heat  to medium a non-stick (!!) pan greased with butter. When the crepe easily pulls from the pan, flip it.
  • Serve folded in thirds.
  • I like these topped with fruit and maybe some sour cream, usually with erythritol and maybe cinnamon sprinkled on top. But you can crack an egg on a fried one, flip the crepe again to cook the egg, add some bacon, cheese, salt and pepper…yum.

• Following a near eating disorder in college, I’ve been pretty religious (yikes, that word’s accurate) about healthy eating and exercise–but to no avail. I’ve always been a bit apple-shaped, attempting to crack the code of the body God gave me. (You might be interested in A Body Good: Naked Truth about Body Image,  Soul-questions before I Begin (or Quit) My Workout Routine, and My Body Image–and My Daughter [Free Printable]).

But last year, somehow the magic formula of 16:8 intermittent fasting and HIIT three times a week (I love the Down Dog HIIT app) meant I lost some weight. This was so kind of God in an arduous life season.

My physical strength served as a metaphor and critical reminder of ways God was developing my soul:

we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5)

• In an effort for greater soul-care–historically an uphill trek for me–I’ve dived into art this past year: oil painting (what?!), and reviving some watercolor and charcoal efforts. I am decent but not great, improving and happier. (Of course I chose something not bad to show you so I don’t regret this declaration until Jesus comes back.)

• I experience a similar effect with both reading and writing poetry, some of which I (eek) shared with you on Good Friday.  There’s something in the music of language that helps me worship. So I like reading it and making it.

All right…certainly that update buys me a few months?!

Thanks for your interest in the God who connects us, awkwardness and all.