THE AWKWARD MOM

because uncomfortable conversations are the ones worth having

Month: October 2018

Love, Disappointed: How We’re Misled by Love Languages

Reading Time: 4 minutes

So you already know I’m into This is Usat least we’ve got that out of the way. (Still waiting for an episode that doesn’t make me blink away tears. Good grief. I am such a sap.)

But there were two moments I resonated with in the last episode–which, if you’re a parent of a teenager, or a child in general, will likely echo with you even if you have no idea what I’m talking about.

Twice, an adult character was talking with a teen close to them. And they were each shut down with finality. Both of the adult characters, disappointment etched on their faces, simply had to absorb their rejection.

How to Fix Yourself in God’s Presence: Thoughts from a Dead Monk

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Those of you who are married: Remember that moment where you piled all those fluffy white layers into the car with tin cans clanking on the back? Or maybe you loosened your tie and pressed on the gas with those rented shoes, rose petals or rice or birdseed flying off the back.

There was something about finally closing the door, muting the noise, and looking at each other: Finally. After all of that craziness, we are married.

It was a little weird. Like, is that it? Stood up at the church, shook a bunch of hands at the reception, and now…my identity is different? read more

Our Men Can Be More Than This: “Boys Will Be Boys” Degrades Both Sexes

Reading Time: 3 minutes

I’ve written before that I won’t get very political on this blog, and this particular post is no exception. Yet I was reminded (in the wise article, “How Do Christians Fit Into the Two-Party System? They Don’t”) that “Those who avoid all political discussions and engagement are essentially casting a vote for the social status quo.”

Which is why this mother of two teen boys and a preteen girl, without stating any opinion on the turmoil of the U.S.’ Kavanaugh proceedings, wants to ponder aloud one particular sentiment.

“Boys will be boys” is a bunch of hooey.

Guest post: Why Do We Love “This is Us?”

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Am I the only one who admits to slyly checking NBC.com to know when This is Us would restart after the summer? I keep waiting for an episode that won’t bring tears to my eyes, dagnabbit. Completely, 100% sucked in.

I’m a Christian. Not all of any show’s values will align with mine. All of life doesn’t align with my values. So there’s that. But honestly, I’m not easily hooked by TV shows. As a writer, I’m always analyzing: What’s the animal magnetism of this show? What’s timeless here? Why can’t we swivel our heads away from the Pearson family? Why do we love this messy (though typically non-crass) brood that could be any one of us?

Could it be there’s more here than some modern soap opera? What if there’s something of what we’re all gunning for? read more

Planned Powerlessness: Thoughts on Rest & Regularly-Scheduled Weakness

Reading Time: 3 minutes

While I was on vacation, my parents were in an accident.

I don’t know where I was, what I was doing. But before seven one chilly Iowa morning, two deer collided with their Chevy–one over the hood, one beneath the car. My grandmother, traveling a safe distance behind them in her own car, slammed into them when my dad hit his brakes. Airbags billowed to life everywhere. Both vehicles were totaled.

I probably don’t need to tell you how relieved that of the three of these dear people, all walked away completely unscathed—not even sore the next day. I am thankful for insurance companies and rental cars and wise engineers (go, airbags!) and the helpers God places around us when bad things inevitably happen on this mortal coil. read more

Too Much Perfection: When You’re Feeling Guilty for Finally Feeling Good

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Perhaps you’ve noticed the blog’s been a little quieter than usual. I’ve been enjoying a series of delightful days, on vacation at last. Everything in me feels like I’ve finally set down an overstuffed backpack.

But I’m not what you would consider great at vacation. Africa has stained itself on the inner walls of my cranium. Ominous lines from parables ricochet in my head about a rich man “in [his] lifetime receiving good things” (Luke 16:25), then spending his eternity in anguish. Guilt and I have always had a tight-knit relationship, while I have a complicated, historically unhealthy relationship with desire and pleasure. In college, I was literally wasting away by my ability to suppress my desire for food.

So there’s that.

When You’re Afraid of Getting Your Child’s Behavioral Diagnosis

Reading Time: 3 minutes

It’s been more than one mom who I’ve talked to about it. I recognize the furtive look in their eyes, the zealous advocacy–of a different kind than mine, I think. He doesn’t need the stigma, they’ve told me. Do you know what teachers think of kids with ADHD?

Actually, I do.

I recall vividly the very night someone suggested my son might have ADHD. I remember the day, too, when his teachers suggested there might be something wrong. And while a diagnosis was scary? From the place where I stand–the opposite is scarier.

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