THE AWKWARD MOM

because uncomfortable conversations are the ones worth having

Category: difficulty (page 4 of 14)

When “Why” is your Biggest Hurdle with God

April 23, 2019 / / 2 Comments
Reading Time: 5 minutes

why

I woke early on Easter morning. It was not the kind of, “Oh! I get, like, an hour more of sleep! I love this feeling!” But more, “Hey, there is absolutely no one else up! Listen. Hear that? It’s the sound of NOTHING. I think I will wake up and enjoy it.” This was before I knew the kids drank the last of the milk = no coffee for me.

Maybe because the light in our bedroom felt hopeful and springtime-ish–and because I wanted to make the most of this day–I thought of the light in the garden, that morning Jesus rose. Yes. I am totally #thatmom. read more

Blind Wrestlers, Cancer, and How Your Child’s Pain Could be a Gift

April 9, 2019 / / 0 Comments
Reading Time: 4 minutes

I sat at lunch on Sunday with a handful of friends over turkey with homemade gravy and mashed potatoes (“So much for Keto,” mumbled the woman dishing up next to me). Of all things, the topic turned to high school wrestling. Two of the guys next to me had competed in high school.

One of them, Marshall, is 6’3″. In high school, he was upwards of 190 lbs. Maybe that’s why I was surprised at who he said were the most formidable in the sport: The kids from the school for the blind. In fact, one of them was the state champ during Marshall’s years in competition. At the time those students had no other sports other than swimming in which they could compete; baseball, basketball, and football were all out. So they competed year-round.

Even more than that, we all reflected aloud, was a blind wrestler’s exaggerated sense of touch. We’ve all heard that with the loss of one of our senses, our other senses rally to compensate (think of Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles). read more

Gut-wrenching Pain, and What We “Just Know”

March 7, 2019 / / 2 Comments
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Just know pain suffering

A few weeks ago, in the middle of this crazy cancer scare, my husband and I went on a date. It was the one where, after Mexican, we had to stop by Walgreens for eyedrops because we were so raw from crying. My heart felt doubled over inside.

But in the restaurant, over bottomless chips and salsa, my husband gently pointed out something in the questions I was asking. He does some conflict coaching and mediation on the side, and explained that our conversation reminded him of listening to two parties in an argument. Often, he can see the perspective of both sides. “But sometimes they would see things differently if they had that graciousness that just greases the wheels of a healthy relationship.” (This is my paraphrase. My brain in that time was a big pot of mashed potatoes.) read more

May You Never: Memos from a Child’s Cancer Scare

February 18, 2019 / / 5 Comments
Reading Time: 7 minutes

I’ve wondered for awhile how to start this post, what to write. I’m still assembling the pieces in my head like a jigsaw puzzle without the photo on the lid, and wondering if some of the pieces have fallen into the couch for good.

I’m hoping it doesn’t feel overdramatic? Guess I’ll just try to be honest with you. read more

The Miracles We Can’t Make

January 30, 2019 / / 4 Comments
Reading Time: 4 minutes

miracle dove There’s a question Jesus asks a blind man in the book of Mark that I am occasionally a little jealous of.

“What do you want me to do for you?”

I picture the man there, not seeing the hairy legs he sits in front of. Knowing what Jesus smells like, committing his voice to memory. Perhaps the man reaches out a hand, adding a fabric texture to his mental portrait. read more

Denial, What Lies Beneath, and Why it Matters to You

January 17, 2019 / / 1 Comment
Reading Time: 5 minutes

denial medicine diagnosis

So I should probably tell you that generally (weirdly?) I do not go to the doctor when sick. I’ve taken kids for ear infections and all that, and certainly that time when my son’s staph infection on his jaw made him resemble Jay Leno (also weirdly. And yes, I remember writing about the importance of getting your kids’ behavioral diagnosis.

But still.) read more

For Days When Survival is the Goal

January 10, 2019 / / 0 Comments
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Four years ago a friend in publishing suggested I start a blog (well. Five years ago. Took me awhile to come around). I initially looked at her like she’d suddenly sprouted horns.

I mean, who has that much to say? (Especially publically? Isn’t that like running naked through cyberspace, waving a flag?) read more

A Christmas Blessing. Sort of

December 21, 2018 / / 0 Comments
Reading Time: 4 minutes

May all your kids come home, and may they get along with each other. Or at least fake it.

May you have a white Christmas to the point that you feel Christmas-y and can say no to an activity you didn’t really want to go to, but don’t lose electricity and heat. May everyone wipe their boots. read more

Why You’re Holding Christmas at Arm’s Length

December 18, 2018 / / 0 Comments
Reading Time: 5 minutes

This morning I schlepped over to the home a friend of mine. A stay-at-home mom of three preschoolers, she feels limited in what she can offer the community. But my hat goes off to her: She invited an adult day program to her home to sing carols, read the Christmas story from the Bible, and a enjoy pretty great spread of snacks.

Somewhere in the middle of the singing, I remembered that besides just wanting to love on the participants or go through the happy holiday motions, I wanted the carols to sink into my heart, too.

But I also know that somewhere, a part of me resists this. read more

“Is it okay for me to hope in something other than God?”

November 10, 2018 / / 0 Comments
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Her road has been long.

A friend of mine has a husband whose cancer treatments were at last beginning to show signs of promise. read more

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