I'm realizing something. Godly responses to conflict are pretty much all counter-natural--or more specifically, super-natural. They beg an overhaul of what I typically want to do.
THE AWKWARD MOM
because uncomfortable conversations are the ones worth having
Tag: enduring love (page 4 of 5)
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Loving people unlike ourselves--when we can patiently wait for the dissonance like a junior-high band to pass--produces the swelling, overwhelming harmonies of a full orchestra.
Reading Time: 3 minutes
1.The key with communicating in this love language (so I'm told) is to study the recipient well, and communicate your understanding of him or her through the gift. It's not about the size, but the intentional, knowing thoughtfulness, a demonstration of I get you. I see you. 2.Purchase tickets for the event you know he or she would love. 3.Have a cup of coffee (or a favorite morning beverage) ready when he or she comes out in the morning--just the way they like it--or a snack when they arrive home.
Reading Time: 4 minutes
At first, I thought she cheated my son.
But when, yielding to my call, she trudged back up the steep grade of our hill, my frustration softened. Her wide black eyes slid up to mine, her forehead glimmering in sweat. Her faded, two-sizes-too-large men’s T-shirt was pocked with holes. She must have been walking nearly the entirety of the morning in those foam shower slippers with the toes long gone and sizeable gaps in their soles. She was thirteen, though looked all of eleven.
Reading Time: 2 minutes
If you’re new to the love languages concept, check out the 5 Love Languages website. And here’s their post on The Power of Affirming Words.
- Scrawl a note on a napkin in their lunch: Praying for you today. So proud of you.
- Use a dry erase marker on the mirror, or on glazed wall tiles: You rock my world. Thanks for being you.
- “I respect you so much for your ability to __.”
- Send a text after the big day, meeting, presentation, or test, checking up on how it went and reminding them you were praying. (Set a reminder on your phone or computer if you need help remembering!)
- “Even on days when you’re ___, I’m so glad you’re mine.”
- “Am I making you feel understood?”
- Leave sticky note on their steering wheel or in their backpack. Just to let you know that I love you.
- “Your _[personality trait]_ is so just what our family needs.”
- Send a love note or, for a child, a letter through the mail, just letting them know what you appreciate about them. Be descriptive and sincere.
- Get specific: “You do ___ really well.”
- “Tell me more about what that was/is like for you.”
- On small strips of paper, write or type things you love about them and great memories you have. Wrap them around individual candies of his or her favorite kind!
- “When you did ___ for me, it made my day go so much easier/made my day. Thanks for doing that!”
- Remember: Go for quality of words more than quantity. Communicate that when you affirm them, your words aren’t inflated; they’re trustworthy.
- “Looking at circumstances, I’m getting the idea that you might not be feeling very ___ lately. Wanted to let you know that I see so much _[character quality]_ in you, and at the risk of sounding corny–I’m proud of you.”
- “You make me so happy just by being you.”
- Send an e-mail or Facebook message: Just wanted to let you know that I’ve seen the way you’re trying so hard to ___. I love it, and I love you.
- “Got a minute to tell me how you’ve been–really? I’d love to get the inside story on what you’ve been thinking about and going through.”
- “I respect you so much for the way you ___.”
- “I realize you and I haven’t been completely on the same page recently. Just wanted to let you know I’d never trade the privilege of being your[mom/dad/husband/wife]. And I’m totally committed to working on our relationship so we can understand and enjoy each other.”
What has someone said to you that made your day–or changed you?
Reading Time: 2 minutes
6. Own up. Paul himself notes in 1 Corinthians that though his conscience is clear, that doesn’t make him innocent. You’ve heard the 1% rule: Even if you’re only responsible for 1% of a conflict, you’re still 100% responsible for your 1%.Take time to pray through what you’re contributing to the rift. What’s the “log” in your eye? Are you forgiving your spouse, or developing even a hint of bitterness and resentment? Are you oversensitive, critical, or even apathetic? We always underestimate the impact our junk has on other people. Consider the pleading of Psalm 139:23-24: Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Marriage is a form of faith—even more in God than in your spouse.
And as C.S. Lewis has written, Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods.
All of us encounter those days where we’re thinking, if he throws his socks beside the hamper one more time, I am going to tell him exactly where he should put them. Or, Honey, I get hormones. But does PMS really last all month?
Reading Time: 3 minutes
It’s a startling post from The Atlantic; a dismaying one. The authors write on the increasing hypersensitivity of college students, or “The Coddling of the American Mind”: “In the name of emotional well-being, college students are increasingly demanding protection from words and ideas they don’t like.”
Reading Time: < 1 minute
It was about a year and a half ago when circumstances colliding around my husband and I found us ducking for cover.
But thankfully, by the grace of God and with a lot of intentional effort, ducking together. Somehow, after it all blew over, we were more “married” than ever before.
Today, I’m posting again at Marriage Revolution, this time on 12 Ways to Stay Close When the Going Gets Rough.
Pull up a chair for practical ideas and discussions on the parenting, relationships, and spirituality we're all army-crawling through every day.
After five and a half years in Uganda, my family and I returned to the U.S., where I write and speak professionally, and we continue to work on behalf of the poor.
My first solo book, Permanent Markers: Spiritual Life Skills to Write on Your Kids' Hearts (Harvest House), released October 2021.
#instagoodness
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