love Archives Page 4 of 5 - THE AWKWARD MOM

Love is the new sexy

Reading Time: 3 minutes

love is the new sexy I was brushing my teeth that night in my PJ’s, mulling over the day, when I had one of those moments–y’know, where God just tugs my chin upward a bit, lets me peek in a bit to what’s solid: to what He’s really doing in all these mundane days that slip by, another X on the calendar.

I walked to the bed, sat down next to my husband, suddenly overcome. It was late; we’d just had a struggling friend over, and my husband had spent hours in conversation seeking out practical solutions with her.

I recalled how my day had begun. A close Ugandan friend had lost a family member in the night—one of three family members he’d paid for to go to the hospital this week. I spotted him the loan for transportation to his village, for the goat he was expected by tradition to provide. But it was my husband later who texted him, telling him it wasn’t a loan, but a gift. read more

On God hijacking my day

January 26, 2016 / Janel Breitenstein / 0 Comments

Reading Time: 3 minutes

You’ve been there before, I bet.

For me: The wall boasts a to-do list scrawled in various colors and medium (crayon, perhaps; whatever’s available before my brain suddenly transforms into mashed potatoes and I remember squat). The items extend from the mysterious acronyms and cryptic personal shorthand (E-M BR; write for GG); to the perpetual residents (laundry); of the far-fetched, someday I will do this, maybe-when-there-is-a-snow-day-even-though-I-live-on-the-equator variety. read more

6 ways to take your relationships deeper in 2016, Part II

January 7, 2016 / Janel Breitenstein / 2 Comments

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Click here for Part I!

Tell the whole truth. Vulnerability takes so much security—first, in our vertical relationship with God. I find a direct correlation between my ability to be transparent with other people and my own humility. Honestly, I used to wait for others to pursue me as a display of their concern for me—and sometimes still do. But I need to acknowledge my own need for others to shoulder what I’m carrying (Galatians 6:1); that it’s not good for me to be alone (Genesis 2:18); that I can’t say, “I don’t need you!” to people of my choosing (1 Corinthians 12:21). Now, Jesus had his own concentric circles of friendship–his intimate three, then twelve disciples, then 72, then the crowds. I’m not saying we trust anyone with our most intimate, painful areas. But friendship is rewarding proportional to the courage and intimacy we’re willing to extend; and the bar that Jesus set–love one another as I have loved you–is one that will take the rest of my life to pursue.

6 ways to take your relationships deeper in 2016, Part I

January 5, 2016 / Janel Breitenstein / 3 Comments

Reading Time: 3 minutes

My dad, my mom jokes, has two speeds in life: full-throttle, and asleep.

I know this, because I inherited a lot of it. I am nothing if not intentional (if you’re skeptical, click the ideas page). In fact, before it was honed by some maturity and grace, I’m pretty confident I used to scare people off a bit, plunking down my lunch tray in the college cafeteria and asking people what God’s been teaching them lately. Pass the salt, would you? read more

Now you’re speaking my [love] language: 20 ways to express affection through physical touch

September 4, 2015 / Janel Breitenstein / 0 Comments

Reading Time: 2 minutes

1.Put an arm around his or her shoulder. 2.Hug them in the morning, or when they arrive home, or to wish them good night. 3.Sit next to each other while watching a movie. 4.Throw your arms around their neck while they’re sitting in a chair.

Now you’re speaking my [love] language: 20 ideas to show love through words of affirmation

August 28, 2015 / Janel Breitenstein / 1 Comment

Reading Time: 2 minutes

If you’re new to the love languages concept, check out the 5 Love Languages website. And here’s their post on The Power of Affirming Words.

Scrawl a note on a napkin in their lunch: Praying for you today. So proud of you.
Use a dry erase marker on the mirror, or on glazed wall tiles: You rock my world. Thanks for being you.
“I respect you so much for your ability to __.”
Send a text after the big day, meeting, presentation, or test, checking up on how it went and reminding them you were praying. (Set a reminder on your phone or computer if you need help remembering!)
“Even on days when you’re ___, I’m so glad you’re mine.”
“Am I making you feel understood?”
Leave sticky note on their steering wheel or in their backpack. Just to let you know that I love you.
“Your _[personality trait]_ is so just what our family needs.”
Send a love note or, for a child, a letter through the mail, just letting them know what you appreciate about them. Be descriptive and sincere.
Get specific: “You do ___ really well.”
“Tell me more about what that was/is like for you.”
On small strips of paper, write or type things you love about them and great memories you have. Wrap them around individual candies of his or her favorite kind!
“When you did ___ for me, it made my day go so much easier/made my day. Thanks for doing that!”
Remember: Go for quality of words more than quantity. Communicate that when you affirm them, your words aren’t inflated; they’re trustworthy.
“Looking at circumstances, I’m getting the idea that you might not be feeling very ___ lately. Wanted to let you know that I see so much _[character quality]_ in you, and at the risk of sounding corny–I’m proud of you.”
“You make me so happy just by being you.”
Send an e-mail or Facebook message: Just wanted to let you know that I’ve seen the way you’re trying so hard to ___. I love it, and I love you.
“Got a minute to tell me how you’ve been–really? I’d love to get the inside story on what you’ve been thinking about and going through.”
“I respect you so much for the way you ___.”
“I realize you and I haven’t been completely on the same page recently. Just wanted to let you know I’d never trade the privilege of being your[mom/dad/husband/wife]. And I’m totally committed to working on our relationship so we can understand and enjoy each other.”

For more ideas, check out 52 Things to Say to Make Your Child Feel Great and 50 Things to Say to Make Your Husband Feel Great.

What has someone said to you that made your day–or changed you?

The Family Business

August 10, 2015 / Janel Breitenstein / 5 Comments

Reading Time: 4 minutes

I grew up amidst a small, tidy farm in central Illinois. The colors that primarily swirl in my memory are the greenness that stretched in acres of corn or soybeans on every side, or the grass that could only be truly experienced through one’s toes. The affectionately flaking bright red of the barn stands tall in my mind, along with the mottled red of the apple trees. And there’s the white of our ancient farmhouse trimmed neatly with black shutters.