Personal Update: The Latest in the Little Stuff

So usually you’re following my life at a bit of a remove. But it seems (weirdly) you like a personal update on my life this side of the screen. You will not get them crazy-often, because I find The Janel Show makes me cringe like you might with a loud potato-chip eater.

But I do enjoy connecting with you people.

So here’s a list of 8 things swirling around in my life right now–as if we were sitting down for a latte. (Decaf, please. I am told people like me should not be caffeinated.)

1. And then I had a little cardiac episode: My book is on PRE-ORDER ON AMAZON.

Gosh, my hands started shaking when I found this on Amazon…guess what’s available for pre-order?!! Pray with me, friends, for this book, if you would. #imsoexcited

The blurb: “A practical, you-can-totally-do-this guide to teaching kids critical habits for a close, thriving relationship with God and a healthy, spiritually confident life into adulthood.”

2. We wish you a merry pandemic.

So I feel like each person I speak with has experienced this pandemic differently, no?

I feel survivors’ guilt–and a truckload of gratitude–as my family has remained largely unscathed. My husband and I have not at all languished in boredom, despite all of my posts for ideas bored people, which sometimes included my children. (All at the same time, or taking turns. Particularly since here in my little mountain town, we got our last snow on June 9. I kid you not. Brings a whole new meaning to CABIN FEVER).

My husband, less than twelve hours after returning from a director’s conference in Europe, was heading EMI’s Crisis Management Team for COVID-19.

So his workload ramped up–as did mine (with kids home…and singing?), as clients hustled to issue pandemic-relevant content, and a few MOPS groups asked for me to speak online (that is fun for me. Hot topic this year: Mom Anger. More to come on that).

I was really tired for awhile.

But amidst unspeakable loss for so many, we remained very grateful to have jobs, to have children not at risk–and to find COVID, in some aspects, a relief from the clamor that is American life. (Check out 5 Quarantine Gifts My Family Doesn’t Want to Lose.)

More than one of my kids are considerably less anxious than when school was in session–which we’re learning from.

3. My friend died, leaving my other friend a widow.

This was the friend I mentioned in my last update, with stage 4 cancer and three kids. The last three months have broken my heart as his family army-crawled through their grief-stricken new normal.

4. I have three teenagers.

I’ll write more on this soon, but my oldest–who has occupied a significant part of the pie graph of my prayers the last three years–has continued to make decisions that leave me humbled and grateful.

He just returned from volunteering four weeks at the Christian camp down the road which we love, and after each week, I’ve relished us sitting on the Starbucks patio, laughing out loud at his anecdotes, and sometimes my heart swelling with a cocktail of gratitude, pride, and good old-fashioned relief. He’s now the big 1-6.

I am in awe of the jetpack camp and the Holy Spirit have strapped on his Christian life.

That is to say, three teenagers = not dead yet. Right now, my youngest has decided to claim much of the pie graph (see point #5), requiring more parenting energy than three teenagers combined.

Dear parenting,

I would like a break. Summer camp was kneecapped this year, and I am requesting a replacement. I am naming all of these gray hairs after you.

Love,

I don’t even think I can remember my name right now. “Hey, Mom” works

5. More possible kid diagnoses (sigh).

That said, after all my writing to you about ADHD and what to do if you fear your child’s behavioral diagnosis...I confess the possibility of two more are hard for me.

Child #4 will be assessed for ADHD, too. This may actually be a good thing, as I fear my rather large ADHD-related behavioral-training toolbox is almost empty with this kid.

I really don’t want a forecast for difficulties in his relationships and career for the rest of his life. But I do know truth helps us move forward for answers we need (John 8:32). And I know Who writes my son’s story (and my own).

Then, my already-diagnosed son–the one also with dysgraphia–will likely be assessed for dyslexia, as well.

I recall the words of my homeboy C.S. Lewis in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader:

But no one except Lucy knew…it had whispered to her, “Courage, dear heart,” and the voice, she felt sure, was Aslan’s.

6. We heart you, summer.

So yes, summer is not, in some ways, summer-y this year. But here’s a short list of good things.

• My kids take turns making dinner three or so times a week for their chores. Yes, sometimes my kitchen subsequently resembles a crime scene. Yes, sometimes the food is missing a key ingredient. But on the whole, I love this. (See point #8.)
• No snow right now (see point #1), and it’s the time of year everyone else might wish they lived in Colorado.
• Baby fawns sighted at least once a day. I am not a “come see my nature photo” kind of person, but c’mon. This is pretty durn cute.
• My husband’s still working from home. I know divorce rates are anticipated to rise right now with tensions high, so I will simply say I’m thankful the opposite is the case. I love having his presence here.
• My kids’ collective treat this summer: Making homemade lemonade. It makes my kitchen smell perfectly sunny.
• At our local farmers market, we tried microgreens–and it turns out they’re insanely easy and quick to grow (3-7 days!)–not even requiring light or dirt. They’re also crazy-nutritious–in my understanding, because all the nutrients that would be in a whole plant, like broccoli, are packed into a little sprout.

If you’ve got kids, this could be a fun summer project. We like to throw them in salads or sandwiches, or eat ’em raw.

1. Basically, start with an inexpensive sprout grower like this one. (It doesn’t need light except perhaps a windowsill on the last two days of growing, to green your sprouts. I keep them under my sink until then.)
2. Soak about 2 tablespoons of sprouting seeds overnight, or these which we hope to try next (on Amazon, I search the question feature for “sprouting” to confirm seeds work for that purpose).
3. Spread the seeds in the sprouter. Rinse them twice a day with a bit of water.
4. When the seeds have sprouted, set them in the sun for a day or two. (Keep rinsing twice daily.) Enjoy!

7. Discipline ideas that might just be working.

First: The impound lot

I was bending disproportionately out of shape when I saw clothes behind the bathroom door (Seriously, people. The whole space is, like 5′ x 5′. Do you really not see them? Do we really have room for six people’s lazily discarded clothes in this room?).

I was tired of stubbing my pinkie toe on someone’s oversized gym shoe, and having other people’s un-picked-up toiletries take up 25% of a pedestal sink.  Or kids leaving damp towels kinda-sorta in the hamper, and my bathroom smelling like it (ew).

So I invented the impound lot. I taped index cards reading something clever and exasperated, like, “NO CLOTHES GO HERE. VIOLATORS WILL BE TOWED.” Then, I towed them to an undisclosed location.

Kids can get their stuff out of the impound lot after three days or for three bucks. (My oldest insists towing deodorant is counterproductive.)

May I tell you how empty my bathroom is? Friends, it is positively lovely.

The ticket system

First, see point 5 above. Before I even knew another kid with ADHD was a possibility, I was plundering my ADHD methods for our youngest, who has serious impulse control issues. One of Dr. Russell Barkley’s key strategies is to cement consequences in the brain (I think of Pavlov’s dogs) with immediate, consistent, bigger consequences or rewards.

So we’re working with a ticket system: 10 tickets given in the morning. For every 3 tickets lost, an extra chore. And every ticket goes toward a motivator specific to the child.

This month, it’s quality time with Mom or Dad–he doesn’t have to buy time with us, but his tickets go to special treats while with us.

Below: enjoying good-behavior sushi. Sushi is one of my current delights.

8. Personal update: I’m developing rhythms toward more rest, and enjoyment of God.

I’ve written that as I evaluated 2019 ,  I wanted to be more present with myself, others, and God, do less–and in honor of God, better nurture the heart and body he’s given. I wanted to play with my kids, too.

(One side effect of blogging: It reminds you to probably do what you said you would.)

COVID, as it is, with life being cancelled, etc., etc., has helped. I’m not starting work until about an hour and a half after I wake.

Rather than my feet hitting the floor and it’s off to the races (lunches! Permission slips! I don’t believe you brushed. Let me smell your breath), I’m seeking to wake up as one beloved: not for what I do or what others think of me, but as someone with the freedom to soak in God’s presence.

As a formerly more driven, machine-like person, I now think about questions like,

• What am I grateful for?
• Who will I help today?
• What’s one thing I could do to enjoy today more?

And I spend more time listening for a particular Still, Small Voice.

I’m stopping working around the house not long after dinner, and enjoying a cup of this homemade chai on my porch, blanket nipped in around my legs in my favorite time of the day, a breezy Colorado summer sunset.

There you go. We just sort of had another cup of coffee.

Thanks, readers. For just being there.

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