Minor confession: In the midst of putting out our family’s prayer letter last week…I declined a call.
My husband walked into the kitchen, and I had this look like your dog would when it pees on the carpet.
I explained my sheepishness. “Why do you feel guilty about that?” he asked, direct as ever.
“I want to be the kind of person who will drop everything and be present with whoever needs it,” I shrugged.
His eyes had this kind look around the edges. “You know you can only be present by shutting other stuff out, right? You’re present with our financial supporters [my husband and I are supported missionaries with Engineering Ministries International] right now. When you’re present with someone else, you’re shutting out other things you could be paying attention to.”
I literally thought about the post I wrote about being distracted with others–and how to be fully, powerfully present. We all know what it’s like to compete with headphones or a smartphone.
So often in my attempts to be everywhere, to be everything to everyone, I’m not “all there” with anyone.
Being present is about being there…by not being somewhere else.
So to be present, it’s fair to say there are boundaries involved.
When it comes to Christmas, being present with God is sucked away by schedules and material stuff and worry: the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful (Mark 4:19).
The Psalmist prays, Unite my heart to fear your name(Psalm 86:11). I wonder if I was on God’s mind when he penned this one…because at Christmas, my heart can be going in about 167,856 directions at once.
I’m just not all there with him.
So I’m pulling ideas together to help me/you hone in on being “all there” this Christmas, starting with our audience of One.
Don’t do something.
To an already-packed schedule, Christmas can feel a bit like “more bricks, less straw.”
If your goal is being present in the ways that matter, cut out a few of the “have-to’s” that aren’t.read more
My 16-year-old was recently awarded his driver’s permit–okay, yikes–and with it, was pre-registered to vote. We don’t fall down the line politically, which I’m generally okay with. (You may remember we’re a lot different: see When Your Child is Different from What You Expected.)
As my kids grow older…so do their opinions. Sometimes I’m unprepared for the ways my boys and I don’t see eye-to-eye.read more
My father is the broad-shouldered, strong, internal teddy bear type, with fingers like sausages. In my childhood, he was a Midwestern farmer. In his spare time, he donates his mad skills to car repairs of missionaries, single moms, people like that. He’s that kind of guy.
And it’s common for him to come back into the house with blood zigzagging down his leg or seeping through his shirt.read more
I know I wasn’t the only mom whose gut sunk like a stone when I heard of the death (“passing” seems a misnomer) of George Floyd. Just weeks after our family discussion about Ahmaud Arbery, we sat down in lieu of online church to talk again about racial discrimination.
Truth: Sometimes I wish I didn’t tell you I’d help with “uncomfortable conversations…worth having.”
But here’s another truth: Those of you readers of color probably didn’t have an option for this uncomfortable conversation with your kids.read more
So maybe like me, you got the automated notice from the school yesterday that your kids–surprise!–have an extra week of spring break next week, because #coronavirus.
This week, my family and I shoved in the car ski boots and a sled and carefully calculated food to feed a family with three teenagers. In the 2-hour drive through the mountains, cell service dropped abruptly about twenty minutes in. Our friend’s cabin, swaddled in 3 feet of snow, has no internet (brilliant!), no reception, and is primarily heated with a potbelly stove.
My daughter’s headed to winter camp soon, which she adores. This morning, over an increasingly plain-looking Greek yogurt parfait, she gushed about camp’s breakfast buffet. She loves the free time, the reconnecting with old friends.
But in light of her anxiety issues, and apparently a night last year when she laid awake till 2, she’s already nervous about getting to sleep.