THE AWKWARD MOM

because uncomfortable conversations are the ones worth having

Category: stress (page 2 of 4)

Gut-wrenching Pain, and What We “Just Know”

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Just know pain suffering

A few weeks ago, in the middle of this crazy cancer scare, my husband and I went on a date. It was the one where, after Mexican, we had to stop by Walgreens for eyedrops because we were so raw from crying. My heart felt doubled over inside.

But in the restaurant, over bottomless chips and salsa, my husband gently pointed out something in the questions I was asking. He does some conflict coaching and mediation on the side, and explained that our conversation reminded him of listening to two parties in an argument. Often, he can see the perspective of both sides. “But sometimes they would see things differently if they had that graciousness that just greases the wheels of a healthy relationship.” (This is my paraphrase. My brain in that time was a big pot of mashed potatoes.) read more

What We Miss: Paying Attention to the God around You (FREE INFOGRAPHIC)

Reading Time: 3 minutes

attention birthday

Tomorrow, another one of my kids turns 13. (Golly, I am getting old.) I’ll let you in on a little secret. One of his friend’s moms and I decided to share planning a small party for both of our sons together–because it turns out neither of us likes planning parties.

Birthdays seem to require a sudden push of adrenaline, past the normal working-mom-with-four-kids schedule. (It is no doubt a sign of my lack of margin.) So far, I don’t know that my kids have had a birthday that didn’t feel special. (Gosh, I hope not.) But days before, I’m always like, Shoot. I really need to do something! read more

Best Posts of 2018!

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Blogging can be a little too much like having an imaginary friend.

Picture sitting at the smallest table at your coffee shop. (I’m having a seasonal special with half of the pumps, decaf. …Because as someone told me, with natural enthusiasm like mine, I should remain uncaffeinated. You?) read more

The Stressed Version of Your Parenting

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Stress is like wearing a flannel shirt when you’re washing dishes, you know?

One minute, you’ve got your hands in the water, scrubbing, the edge of your cuffs kissing the water. Next minute, the water’s bled up to your armpits. (For this reason, my husband’s told me that in Boy Scouts, they always said “Cotton is death”: If you’re wearing cotton when you’re active in the cold, it absorbs your perspiration, and can quickly bring you to hypothermia in bad weather.) read more

Too Much Perfection: When You’re Feeling Guilty for Finally Feeling Good

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Perhaps you’ve noticed the blog’s been a little quieter than usual. I’ve been enjoying a series of delightful days, on vacation at last. Everything in me feels like I’ve finally set down an overstuffed backpack.

But I’m not what you would consider great at vacation. Africa has stained itself on the inner walls of my cranium. Ominous lines from parables ricochet in my head about a rich man “in [his] lifetime receiving good things” (Luke 16:25), then spending his eternity in anguish. Guilt and I have always had a tight-knit relationship, while I have a complicated, historically unhealthy relationship with desire and pleasure. In college, I was literally wasting away by my ability to suppress my desire for food.

So there’s that.

INFOGRAPHIC: Ideas to Take Back Your Sabbath

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Most of the things we need to be most fully alive never come in busyness. They grow in rest.

Mindset of the man too busy: I am too busy being God to become like God.

Mark Buchanan, The Holy Wild: Trusting in the Character of God read more

Should I let my kid quit? Questions to ask

Reading Time: 6 minutes

A couple of weeks ago, I was stuffing paper bags with sandwiches, flipping pancakes, signing permission slips, smelling breath to confirm teeth brushing, etc.–all your average morning chaos. That’s when my middle child told me he was quitting football.

Imagine the activity in my kitchen suddenly lurching to a halt. “What? Why?”

He had some good reasons. And a few not-great, 12-year-old ones. It was one of those weird parenting situations where you wish there was a highly detailed playbook. What to do when your kid wants to quit football and he’s been in it for a month and isn’t getting to play and… I told him to go to practice, and we’d talk about it on the weekend. read more

Beware the Now

Reading Time: 3 minutes

So this week, my eldest son’s chores have included assembling a bookshelf from Ikea (a true test of manhood), raking and bagging part of the yard, and mowing at the neighbor’s. I admit to a small degree of happiness when he asked, “Mom, where’s a hex wrench?”

See, he’s 14 now. And that means it’s T minus four years till a vast assortment of his advice will come from college students just as clueless as he will be. So this morning, before he crawled out of bed, I sent this list of life skills for teens to my husband for printing.

Playing mom-of-teenager (plus any other hats, like, oh, working mom) can get a little cray-cray. Sometimes I feel like to live in this century is to live within in a blur, like we’re on a merry-go-round that’s too fast, yanking us off-center. As Westerners (and I lump myself into that), when asked how life is, half of us will answer “busy”. But what if the tyranny of the urgent keeps me from the critical?

Holiday Rerun: Tackling My Inner Grinch

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Ever feel like your heart’s two sizes too small for the Christmas season?

I may have recently given my radio the stinkeye for its heartfelt counsel for me to have a holly-jolly Christmas this year, when I really felt like sulking, washed down with a swig of wassail and one of those little chocolate-dipped pretzels with sprinkles.

The Grinch stealing Christmas stockings

Guest Post: Taming the Chaos in Your Home

Reading Time: 2 minutes

There are moments in my home that can only be tidily described as chaos.

Last night, as my two youngest were building a fort in the bedroom, I heard some concerning-sounding thuds: “That was the bathroom mirror, Mom! ” (Oh. I think that’s supposed to make me feel better?) There was also the repetitive, distinctive bleat of a kazoo, which I could have sworn I’d already thrown away. At least there was a lot of giggling, wrestling, and role-playing complete with foreign accents. (This time, at least, it was a good chaos.)

I thought of this today as I was thinking of the first time we actually hear of the Holy Spirit in Scripture: The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. read more

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