My kids are getting older, which means winter break looks different here. Sniff.
Of course, we’ll still be decorating cookies and mushing together the family clam dip. (It’s a Breitenstein thing.)
But Christmas Eve, we’ll have three different pickups of three different kids: two teenagers have gone for more fun with relatives this week, and my oldest–the Marine–arrives from Camp Pendleton.
There’s always this weird tension for me when summer break splats on our family like an ice cream cone on a sidewalk.
The kids are fatigued, even exhausted, from school. Heck, I’m tired from the school year.
Reading Time: 8 minutes
Random avatars of sugar and carbohydrates currently sprawl across my table, and I recently did the Sam’s Club pickup with holiday snacks to feed four teenagers.
Which is to say, never, ever enough. And I need price-club-sized tubs of things like salsa and cheese dip.
I’ve been noodling on ideas for kids on holiday break for years, people. But picky teenagers really up the ante, y’know?
But my Marine, aka oldest son, made it home last Wednesday, people, which is cause for sheer celebration–particularly when coupled with the birth of the Savior of the World.
And yet, after finals week and fast-food jobs and boot camp for my kids, coupled with the sheer pace of life for my husband and me, some family knuckles are dragging the ground this year.
That is to say, we want to somehow create some well-warranted sparkle, but without a lot of additional chaos. (Is that a thing?)
Note: You are not the cruise director/court jester/general fun planner for your home. There are great benefits to kids being bored– and there are even dangers to our kids having the expectation they will always be entertained.
My kids will have some extra chores over break (trust me; there will be extra mess.) And it’s important they not think their world is about them.
But it’s great to have up your sleeve a few ideas for kids on holiday break–to create lifetime memories, stir up some creativity, serve others (the first list has printable thank you notes, too!), soak up childhood (for them and you), and kindle some meaningful quality time together.
All you overachievers–just pick a couple. Or have your kids pick a couple. The idea is fun, not peppermint-flavored burnout.
When we tried this with my kids and their cousins, I was delighted to hear my mom–who was admittedly a little skeptical of the potential mess–remark that this was a lot easier, cleaner, and faster than she thought. That’s a win, folks.
We used a Vinegar Taffy Recipe, but you might also enjoy adding those leftover red and green sprinkles, as suggested in this recipe. If you’ve never been to a taffy pull, this video will help!
During one school break, I picked up 101 Coolest Simple Science Experiments: Awesome Things to Do with Your Parents, Babysitters, and Other Adults.
The book sat on our counter, and my kids thumbed through it every few days to try something new: the CD hovercraft, the paper airplane launcher, DIY pulley system, Pencil Arrows, Marshmallow Molecules.
Bonus: Most of the stuff was in our junk drawer.
Also from the book above: T-shirts colored with permanent ink (like a pack of colored Sharpies), then sprayed with 70% rubbing alcohol. This dissolves the ink, and the colors morph into a colorful explosion.
In case it’s not obvious, I get a kick out of my kids thinking in crazy new ways–like this rollercoaster for ping-pong balls, constructed out of straws.
Try newspaper rolled up into spears and connected with masking tape to make a tepee or fort; popsicle sticks (my kids like building bridges and buildings!); pasta (like lasagna, fettucine, and wagon wheels); your recycling bin.
My son built a boat out of foil and recyclables–and delightfully surprised me when it floated. If you dig this kind of stuff, search on the internet or Pinterest for makerspace for kids.
A classic at our house over break has typically involved building a fort with pillows, blankets, cushions, and furniture to spend the night in front of the Christmas tree.
With teenagers, this now looks like pulling out the sofa bed. And I’m just fine with that.
Yes, my teens also still dig snow ice cream, made even better with all those leftover Christmas sprinkles.
No snow? Check out this easy recipe for DIY ice-cream in a Ziploc–with ingredients you probably already have! (We used regular salt, and replaced the milk with half-and-half.)
When it comes to ideas for kids on holiday break, don’t forget your city or town’s online calendar for what’s going on in your area that’s free or low-cost.
A lot of libraries, in particular, populate their schedules with crazy-fun stuff you don’t have to prep–like making gingerbread houses, a movie afternoon complete with popcorn, or a Lego night.
Seize the downtime to have your kids send out thank-you notes for Christmas gifts.
For younger kids, here’s a simple printable thank-you note (help them circle the adjectives they want)! Print it FREE here. (I’ll post it on the Freebies page, too.)
Older kids probably like to pick out their own notes at the store or make their own. (For me, buying thank-you notes they get even a little excited about is worth the expense.)
You can make a template for them, with a goal of, say, one note per day (or the option to bang ’em all out at once). A sample template…suitable even for gifts kids aren’t thrilled about:
Dear _____,
I wanted to thank you for the (great/cool/huge) _____ you gave me. It was really (thoughtful/generous/kind/sweet) of you! I (can’t wait to use it at ___/have already used it to ____/think of you every time I see it). I’m grateful.
Hope you have a happy New Year!
(Sincerely/Love/Your __(granddaughter/grandson/niece/friend…etc.),
[name]
We’re talking thirty minutes or less from start to glorious finish–and you’ll get a handful of treats to schlepp over to the neighbors or leave out for the postman (post-person?) and sanitation workers. A few of my faves:
It can be a lot easier than you think! Grab 25 low-prep ideas–like tying a fleece blanket for Project Linus or a kid you know in the hospital. (Pro tip: Let your kids pick the fabric.)
Or consider baking something from the ideas above for a lonely neighbor.
(Know anyone who might not be able to share Christmas with family this year?)
With a budget per child that you communicate, traipse over to the used bookstore or library to encourage books they naturally gravitate toward. Libraries also have audiobooks, obviously, or even jigsaw puzzles and board games to check out.
You might even let them pick out a Christmas chapter book to read aloud together with cocoa by the tree at night.
When Christmas break hits this year, I’ll let my kids open a (wrapped, if I get time?) box of books–including at least one specifically curated for each of my kids’ interests. My favorite site for used books is still Abebooks.com.
Pop up a card table and allow family members to mill around a puzzle, or a game to ensue that normally you wouldn’t have time for (Monopoly, Axis and Allies, Risk, Settlers of Catan).
If you’ve got the cash, consider letting your kids pick out a new game–or give one as a family gift at the beginning of break.
Don’t forget the s’mores. (Side story: We constructed more than one pseudo-smore roast during our years in Uganda. I loved our Ugandan friend’s expression when he first tried one: “These are AMAZING!”)
My sister brought these to a family gathering one year.
Print your own iron-ons using printer papers found at lots of big-box stores in the craft aisle. Or Michaels.com has some fun ones with sloths, mermaids, donuts, sushi…
Even better, teens can design their own using sites like Canva.
With a fabric medium like this, you can add the medium to any color acrylic paint–and it automatically becomes a fabric paint.
This is how I created a Charlie Brown t-shirt for my son (the yellow one with the black zigzag at the bottom. Can you hear “Christmas Time is Here” playing?). My daughter also has experimented with some feather stencils.
Maybe it’s grandma’s cinnamon rolls, like in my family. Have fun making a heritage recipe this year.
School nights get a little crazy over here. But we recently finished Hatchet during bedtime reading (or at least started it; my kids got too anxious and finished it on their own. Not a bad thing!). This is a great plan for kids who struggle to settle down after a long day.
To have on hand for the panhandlers in your city, create an assembly line of items from a list like this, packing them in resealable bags. (Bonus: It helps your kids see the homeless in your community and treat them with dignity and care.)
I come from a family full of great ideas! My sisters have more than once planned a massive scavenger hunt for gifts for our nieces and nephews.
All of us dressed in Christmas gear–the hats and headbands, the striped pants. Through clues on strips of paper and vehicles at the ready, we led them to different locales around the city: Listening to a story read by Grandma in the children’s area of the bookstore. Getting cake pops at Starbucks. Singing Christmas carols to the pets at the pet store. The kids L-O-V-E-D it, and we now have great memories around their small gifts from last year. It’s the perfect coup d’etat when it comes to ideas for kids on holiday break.
…for teachers and neighbors. Here’s a good recipe! We used Christmas colors for the sugars, and tied directions onto the jars with twine.
My sister-in-law had the fabulous idea on New Year’s Eve to play “Minute to Win It” for small prizes. Even teens like this one, folks–especially with a few well-chosen prizes.
Grab 30 ideas for your competition here.
Bring flashlights, a phone to take photos of their best discovery, and hot chocolate in thermoses.
For a small reward, see which child can memorize the most Scripture verses over break. You can help them with easy ideas to memorize, like music and memory cards from Seeds Family Worship, free printable adult coloring pages, or Scripture Typer.
In addition to these ideas for bored tweens and teens, grab ideas for the whole family that may include (a little) less eye-rolling.
Create your own pub trivia night, using online trivia, a game like Pub Trivia, or trivia books from the library. This one’s great if you have braniacs.
Look up simple mocktail ideas on Pinterest and slide over some bowls of pretzels and peanuts.
I loved these templates for ideas! Amp up the mood a little with goofy holiday hats or headbands.
Use those phones for something a little more valuable. Print out a template like this one!
Grab some candy canes, make your own peppermint syrup, and set out whipped cream, ice cream syrups, marshmallows, and sprinkles.
…And you don’t need a fondue set, BTW. We usually make a cheese recipe and a chocolate recipe, with assorted fruits, bread, veggies, marshmallows, and cookies or graham crackers for dipping. (This is great to make a night special, like New Year’s Eve.)
Reading Time: 7 minutes
But in light of her anxiety issues, and apparently a night last year when she laid awake till 2, she’s already nervous about getting to sleep.
(All those suggestions in the Help! My Kid Can’t Sleep post? Those are hard-won, peeps.)
So we’ll pack her weighted blanket, we decided. And we’re mentally thumbing through other strategies.
But here’s the thing with anxiety–a phenomenon on the rise in teens. My husband and I are constantly dancing on the line of dealing with it in healthy ways. How can we treat her emotions as valid, yet manage them without them managing her?
How can we acknowledge her fears, but raise her toward being a strong woman of courage?
Because courage, even according to the dictionary, is “the ability to do something that frightens one.” Or “strength in the face of pain or grief.”
See, some of the things my youngest son has done, like toddling to the adult pool and jumping in without someone to catch him? That’s not courage, per se. (Not sure what that is? I think the courage is actually required by his parents.)
So often in the Bible, “Do not fear” is followed by this pointed reason: “I”–God–“am with you.”
What’s it look like to raise kids of courage? A few thoughts.
After we were robbed during our time in Africa, a friend wisely wrote me, “The very thing we would protect our children from experiencing may be the very thing that God wants to use in their lives now so that when they are adults, they’ll know how to respond to crisis.”
Reflecting on our son’s cancer scare about this time last year, I wrote about how my son’s mind-boggling response was actually a culmination of some significant obstacles he’s faced in life. He may well be my most resilient, courageous child.
This is hard for a mom who, if she were Elastigirl from the Incredibles, would hands-down prefer to make herself a human shield. It many senses, it’s easier to act as a force field for my kids’ pain, the consequences of their mistakes, any margin for them to fail.
But–to mix my metaphors here–that would create for them a virtual bloodstream without antibodies.
Our kids learn to fight fear and failure and weakness only by encountering it.
Keep peeling back layers. Why is your child afraid of test-taking, or lunch at school, or entering a competition? Peel back another layer. What happens if that bad thing happens? Peel back more. How does this connect to your child’s identity? What truth does God say to that false identity? (I discuss this more here.)
When my daughter’s struggled with sleep, my husband and I have allowed her to sleep on the carpet at the foot of our bed.
But hey, that won’t work so well when she goes to college, right?
And yet, some nights she enters in tears after midnight.
So we decided to give her an imaginary “ticket” she could use once every two weeks when she’s really having a tough time. The idea was to increase the amount of time between tickets–but her use of the tickets has already fallen off drastically.
That child who’s afraid of the water may not be ready for the diving board. But maybe the progression moves from a parent’s arms, to the Puddle Jumper on the pool steps, to fun games while wearing the Puddle Jumper…you get the idea.
Don’t space this step. It’s God who trains our kids to find peace in him rather than how they perform, how safe they are, what they have, or what other people think.
I’m conscious of increased anxiety creating wider neural pathways for fear in the future. I’ve heard neural pathways likened to paths in a forest: The more we tread down them, the wider and more easily-traveled they become.
Along with this science, we also know neurons that “fire together, wire together.” So when your son is bullied by a kid at school, he’s not just afraid of the bully. He can become afraid of school.
So I’m seeking to reward those baby steps of my daughter–to widen neural pathways of courage. When she has a day without using a “ticket”, she earns 5 minutes extra screen time.
Different kids will have different struggles. (My boys get nothing for sleeping in their beds.)
These are the gifts our kids gain through experiences that reiterate, You can.
Though my daughter has a history with stage fright, several teachers encouraged her to try out for the speech and debate club this year. After a competition last Saturday, she returned with a glow in her eyes–and a medal in hand.
This medal means more to me than some that have entered our door. It’s been won in spite of fear.
Sports, and especially the outdoors, can be tremendous places to do this. A couple of years ago, a father and friend of a newly teenaged boy asked my husband about ways to help his son overcome some persistent fear.
My husband recalled that one of his greatest confidence-builders as a teen was all the time he and his dad spent outdoors. When you’re outside, you’re so often conquering something. They certainly did: most of Colorado’s fourteeners (14,000+ ft. peaks), snow caving, snowshoeing, cycling, kayaking. Meanwhile, all those little battles were making my husband a man.
If your kid’s not into this, maybe don’t force them and create more of a complex?! Maybe they’re game for that drawing class, or dance.
It doesn’t have to be something they’ll succeed in. Just something that encourages them to try.
Studies show that deep breathing exercises have a crazy-cool ability to talk our brains down, so to speak, when we’re stressed. (This is kind of cool to me, since God associates himself with breath.)
My son likes the “box breathing” technique: Picture a square. As you travel up the first leg of the square, inhale 4 seconds. Across the square’s top, hold that breath 4 seconds. Moving down the square’s side of the square, exhale 4 seconds (a longer breath out might be more effective). Your child “closes” the square by breathing normally for 4
Vulnerability looks like courage in others–but freaks us out when we have to do it, right? Model the kind of relationships that thrive apart from appearances, accomplishments, and achievements. Grab 8 how-to’s here.
When it comes to feeling accepted as we are, there’s nothing like a safe relationship. Grab a treat with your child, or spend time drinking some cocoa and being close. Communicate your unconditional love.
Statistics show fathers are more adventurous; more eager for their kids to go out and grapple with the world.
Between my husband and I? Pretty durn sure if one of us leads to “overprotective”, it’s not him.
But I’m sure you don’t need stats. Because you’ve probably heard your husband say something like, “You’re okay! Shake it off!” Or “Whoa, cool! A SCAR!”
Together, memorize some verses about courage so you can remind each other (check out Ephesians 5:19).
Wondering where to start? Try
To get you going, I’ve also made three free printable graphics like the one below. Grab them here!
Real-life examples help us start conversations about what it could look like to overcome.
ReadBrightly.com has compiled a list of 10 picture books about courage, starting with Jacqueline Woodson’s The Day You Begin–great to read with a child tucked beneath your arm.
For older kids, R.J. Palacio’s Wonder is a classic (read the book, then watch the movie together). My husband is also reading Corrie Ten Boom’s classic The Hiding Place with my daughter. Other titles to consider:
CommonSenseMedia.org also has a list of movies that inspire courage (bonus: Every title has its own what-exactly-is-in-this review, so you can make sure the movie’s right for your family.)
Spiritual Life Skills for Kids: The Series
Helping Our Kids Turn Suffering into Praise
Blind Wrestlers, Cancer, and How Your Child’s Pain Could be a Gift
Bouncing Back: Helping Your Child Open the Gift of Failure
Reading Time: 5 minutes
Missed the first list? Grab it here.Note: You are not the cruise director/court jester/general fun planner for your home. There are great benefits to kids being bored– and there are even dangers to our kids having the expectation they will always be entertained.
My kids will have some extra chores over break (trust me; there will be extra mess), and it’s really important to me that they not think their world is about them.
But sometimes it’s great to have a few ideas up your sleeve to create memories, get creative, serve others (the first list has printable thank you notes, too!), and have meaningful quality time together, soaking up childhood.
Reading Time: 4 minutes
So last night happened.
Honestly, if I were a weather forecaster, I should have seen this perfect storm whirling my way, shooting out a few lightning bolts. It was brewing for two weeks as my husband and I sprinted to keep up with the pace of American life, which still overwhelms us. (Me to him: “I don’t know how people do this well.” Him: “I’m not sure they do.”) As much as we’d thinned out the “must do’s” from the “should do’s”, the calendar was still practically leaning over with the weight of all that ink. Mix in more work deadlines than I have fingers, and my brain was starting to resemble mashed potatoes.
Reading Time: 2 minutes
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You might also enjoy my free ebook, Discussion Questions to Better Understand Your Family’s Subculture!
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Today, in heavy strokes, a pumpkin was neatly sliced in my kitchen. Thick wedges of orange lay surrendered on the countertop, awaiting steam and recipes. And that’s when I smelled it: fall. Almost as quickly as it reached my nose, memories collided with each other, awaiting their turn in my mind to display their images of careful carving, the crunch of roasted seeds, and stringy goo hanging from my fingers. It was as if I could touch the softness of my husband’s old orange sweatshirt, hear the crackle of leaves, and heft a cuddly niece onto my hip.
But also suddenly was an unexpected prick of loss. A thoughtful friend had e-mailed me earlier in the week: Thought of you last night as I made a pot of turkey chili for a ball-game watching party tonight. Know how much you love autumn.
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