So I should probably tell you that generally (weirdly?) I do not go to the doctor when sick. I’ve taken kids for ear infections and all that, and certainly that time when my son’s staph infection on his jaw made him resemble Jay Leno (also weirdly. And yes, I remember writing about the importance of getting your kids’ behavioral diagnosis.
But still.)
So–it’s cool that I have a lot of friends who are are smarter than I am in a smorgasbord of ways.
Last night, sitting with my friend Amber–a stellar junior high teacher, which means she is to be praised in more ways than one–she mentioned she’d be helping her kids with New Year’s goals. She bases their goal-setting on Luke 2:52: And Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature, and in favor with God and man.
As we waltz into December, it’s meaningful to me to look back on this year and ask my soul a few questions. How you doing in there?
David Benner, in The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery, writes,
Christian spirituality involves a transformation of the self that occurs only when God and self are both deeply known. Both, therefore, have an important place in Christian spirituality. There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self, and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God. John Calvin wrote, “Nearly the whole of sacred doctrine consists in these two parts: knowledge of God and of ourselves.”
Today, I’m waiting.
I experienced a significant high last June when I secured a wonderful literary agent. (For those of you not in the publishing world, that can be one of the hardest parts. Major win!) I’ve submitted book proposals now to publishers. And now, I wait.
I’ve written openly about how challenging it’s been to come back to America from Africa when I didn’t feel ready. (At all.) I’ve thought a lot about everyday faithfulness, hoping to live the life of a quiet radical. And as I’m waiting for a “yes” or a “no” after some significant “no’s,” waiting does its usual stirring up inside me, questions bubbling to the surface, the silt making things opaque. As I thought the other day about the possibilities ahead, the prospect of hope felt like something was cracking me down the middle.
My son asked me today about my New Year’s resolutions.
Weeell…I’m not really the resolution type. But I told him I do like the new year for new beginnings. For reevaluating, for seeing with fresh eyes and finding some intentionality in things that can run away from me in the tyranny of the urgent. (In the past couple of years at this time, I’ve shared ideas and questions to take your relationships to the next level, and some questions to bring your relationship with God to the next level, too.)
Maybe you still have a day or two of holiday time left. If so, I hope these journal prompts (designed for you to “prink” over–that’s pray and think) can help breathe some fresh air into your soul. Maybe you won’t know all the answers to these, and they need to rattle around in your head awhile.
Alright, if it isn’t obvious already–I’ve never really been one of the cool cats. I will sheepishly admit to wearing pleated pants in high school. I had braces until I was a junior. It took years for me to learn to tame these crazy curls (not to mention the frizz and curly eyebrows that went with them). I was more than a little Anne of Green Gables-ish with all my melodramatic creativity. And as you could probably pick up from my blog–I am guilty of trying too hard. Which is woefully beyond any scope of cool in high school.
But in church circles? I have one of those personalities that’s easily accepted. I’m bubbly. I’m a married, creative mother (bonus!) with domestic-diva interests and a bleeding heart. I’m high-capacity in my time management, irreverent in the right ways, and–wait for it–I was a missionary. (I know! Cue the heavenly theme music!) So my gifts, talents, and temperament can lend me toward respect in these circles.
Yet what if I wasn’t?
Perhaps one of the most unsettling aspects of this year of upheaval for my family has been my own understanding of who God is. It actually took me awhile to churn out this post for you, because, well, “I’m angry with God” should ideally have some kind of resolution at the end, right? I’ve learned people get unsettled when you tell them you’re feeling spiritually jaded or rattled.
I’m posting this in part for families who’d like to fast for Lent. A few believe Protestants shouldn’t; but Matt Chandler offers this perspective–so it’s your call! At any time of year, I feel families can benefit. Here’s why. -Janel
Yeah, I bet you were wondering what I was going to write in this one. (I was, too.)
To the untrained expatriate, swooping into American culture (like yours truly) I gotta say: Face Swap weirds me out a little. My family and I, piled on the sofa, have guffawed at, say, my daughter spontaneously sprouting my husband’s five-o’clock shadow. Or my seven-year-old swapping faces with the dog.
Still. Lately, what I’m realizing about my ideas of God?
He tends to change faces.
![Now You're Speaking My [Love] Language](https://www.janelbreitenstein.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/love-languages-text-1.jpg "Now You're Speaking My [Love] Language")
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