Executive Functioning: Is it behind the Behavior Issues?

When my son was seven, I’d ask him to clean his room.

Unfortunately, I could come in half an hour later and the place still looked like someone had turned the place upside down and shook it, then sprayed cheese-in-a-can on top.

And just maybe, he’d be crying. I’d feel exasperated, throwing mental hands in the air. Why couldn’t the kid just obey?

It took some self-education on my part to understand cleaning his room was–honestly–overwhelming for him.

His ADHD is a disorder of executive functioning. And one of his weak executive skills is organization. He couldn’t walk into the room and think, I should start with the Legos. 

What’s “executive functioning”?

I explain “executive functioning” to people as “the filing cabinet in his brain”–but maybe it’s easier to think about it as the administrative team in your brain’s front office. (And maybe not everyone is great at their job?)

CHADD describes executive functioning like this:

Executive function refers to brain functions that activate, organize, integrate and manage other functions. It enables individuals to account for short- and long-term consequences of their actions and to plan for those results. It also allows individuals to make real-time evaluations of their actions and make necessary adjustments if those actions are not achieving the desired result.

My youngest son was only diagnosed a year ago (ADHD again, for the win!), at age 11. It took me awhile to understand he, too, had executive functioning issues. I’d just thought he was, well, squirrely, energy-like-a-freight-train middle-school boy. (True, in part.)

For him, impulse control and emotional control are weak points. He’s the kid with the volcanic temper, or a frequent sense of “dang-I-shoulda-thought-that-through”.

Not just an ADHD Thing: An Assessment for and List of Executive Functions

One of the best books I’ve found on this topic Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary “Executive Skills” Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential (there’s a version for parents of teens, too, currently on my own reading list).

The authors begin by presenting you an assessment like this one not only for your child, but also for you and your spouse. Maybe, like my husband and I, you’ll find it interesting the ways the three of you overlap…and don’t.

Because when it comes to executive functioning, we’re all on a spectrum. I’m pretty decent at planning and prioritizing–but I still struggle at times with emotional control.

With my second son, he has times of flexible thinking, but in stress, his brain essentially transforms into a rock. (It ain’t goin’ nowhere.)

Wondering what skills are included in executive functioning? Websites will vary, but generally will include skills like these. (Find more complete definitions here.)

• Impulse control

• Emotional Control

• Flexible Thinking

• Working Memory

• Self-Monitoring

• Planning and Prioritizing

• Task Initiation

• Organization

   

Executive Functioning: School Ties

As you can tell, these can have dramatic effects on your child’s performance in school, too.

That kid who does his homework but never remembers to turn it in? The kid who can’t remember her multiplication tables? The kid who just can’t get started on the science project, or can’t follow through on the gradual steps to get ‘er done?

‘Nuff said.

Recently executive functioning surfaced again here as I realized one of my kids–with no diagnosis–has issues with planning and prioritizing. Even though they’ve had a chore six days a week every week of their life, they seem to forget it needs done every day. Though they don’t struggle in school, they struggle to plan for school.

So this means this weakness in my child isn’t just something for which to implement consequences. We need dedicated training and planning to build that skill.

Smart but Scattered offers practical ways to go about designing a specific plan for your child’s specific executive weakness. This page and this page also have some great places to start. (Today’s unaddressed school issues could be tomorrow’s career and family issues, right?)

And ADHD parents, here are some tips and tricks that work for my family.

How Understanding Your Child’s Executive Functions–and Yours–Can Help

With my kids’ diagnoses, I’ve had to tow the line between “This is how God made your brain” and “but you still have to master it.”

Diagnoses can’t be my kids’ crutch, right? (Check out Bouncing Back: Helping Your Child Open the Gift of Failure.)

We’re all born with–and nurtured into–weaknesses, and proclivities to sin, too. I can’t use my lack of emotional control as an excuse to damage my kids and mouth off to my spouse.

Yes, I think God takes our knowledge and abilities into account (see Luke 12:47-48, Romans 2:15). But do we really want our kids to feel benign about the ways their weaknesses hurt other people, create obstacles for themselves, or keep them plowing headlong in sin? 

Or do we want their challenges transformed into strengths?

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