How to Talk with Kids about the Israel-Palestine Conflict

A note from Janel: 

This week, I’m welcoming guest authors Donna Kushner and Amy Schulte, a mother-daughter team who, in Amy’s childhood, served as missionaries in Palestine. Both currently work with refugees in professional and personal capacities. (I personally worked with Donna on a free resource to guide immigrant and refugee families into healing.)

Together with their Jewish heritage, Amy and Donna bring a unique perspective on how to talk with kids about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. 

To be clear, Hamas and Hezbollah are terrorist organizations, and their crimes are horrific. Yet they are not equivalent with Palestine—a state “comprising parts of modern Israel and the Palestinian territories of the Gaza Strip (along the coast of the Mediterranean Sea) and the West Bank (west of the Jordan River),” Brittanica writes. 

One 2013 article estimates 200,000 Palestinian Christians reside in Israel. The U.S. Department of State estimates “50,000 Christian Palestinians reside in the West Bank and Jerusalem…there are at most 1,000 Christians residing in Gaza.” For many years, these believers have been targeted in persecution not only by Muslim extremists, but also by Jewish extremists, protected by the Israeli government. Romans 9:6-8 reminds us both Abraham’s biological offspring and these Palestinian brothers and sisters, too, are part of Abraham’s children and his promises.

The American church has deep sentiments about this conflict, currently donating in record numbers to relief efforts in Israel.  No matter your current thoughts on the crisis, perhaps you’ll find these thoughts as enlightening as I did—and continue to pray for those in both sides of the conflict.

Where I Come From

Amy: On October 7th, when I saw the news about what happened in Israel, my heart sank.  The images and stories plastered all over the news horrified me. 

I also knew what was going to come next.  

I braced myself for the suffering that was about to be unleashed on Gaza.  I am half-Jewish, and lived in Israel from age three to eight.  But my parents worked with Palestinians, and I attended an Arab school.  We sat with refugees in the West Bank, and we heard the stories.  

I cannot be pro-Israel, despite the resounding Zionist chorus echoing from the American church.  Firsthand I have experienced the history of the region and the many ways that the creation of Israel and its subsequent expansion led to the suffering of Palestinians who had lived there for hundreds of years. 

I cannot be pro-Hamas, although I believe that without the suffering and oppression of Palestinians, Hamas would never have come to power.  During my time in Israel, I lived through the terror of the first intifada–the first Palestinian uprising that began in 1987–and I can never condone the methods of terrorism.

I have often said that in this conflict, no one is righteous.  I am grieved by all of it.   

How I Talk with Kids About the Israel/Palestine Conflict

The next morning, I sat down with my 7-year-old and showed her a map of Israel.  I pointed out Haifa and Jerusalem, cities she had visited on a family trip.  

Then I pointed out Gaza and the West Bank, and I started to tell her about what had just happened, what would likely happen, and why we should care.

I told her some stories about my childhood in the region, and the extreme poverty of the Palestinians.  I looked up the statistics, which indicated almost half of Gaza’s population are under the age of 18; 40% are under 14. 

If we say that we care for the innocents, we cannot only care about the Israelis that were killed and taken hostage. As Christians, we must also care for the thousands who would be killed by Israel’s retaliation.

I reminded my daughter of our Muslim friends, and that they matter too.  Jesus doesn’t just call us to love those who are like us.

In fact, we are most like Jesus when we care for the least, the lost, and the last.  The millions of Palestinians trapped in Gaza definitely fit that description.  We should also care about what happens to them, along with our compassion for Israel’s victims.

My Family’s Experience on the West Bank

Donna: When I heard about the Hamas attacks in Israel my thoughts went immediately to a visit our family made many years ago to a refugee camp in Bethlehem on the West Bank. 

It was our first time meeting refugees. I will never forget when one of the family’s seven children came running  into their bare, concrete flat with a beautiful blue dress for our one-year-old daughter. 

I was embarrassed to think about all the dresses hanging in my daughter’s closet back home. This family gave us a gift beyond their means, served us coffee and cake, and welcomed us, first as strangers, and then friends. 

Our family has recalled this visit from time to time. I pray it instilled compassion in my kids they won’t easily forget.

The current conflict is a heartbreaking next step in decades of suffering. My heart aches every day as I read the news.

Sometimes all I can pray is “Lord, have mercy.” I feel compelled to invite others to pray, and have appreciated taking advantage of specific prayer guides. 

Why We Must Talk with Kids About the Israel-Palestine Conflict

Though hard to talk with kids about the Israel-Palestine Conflict, it is essential we do.  

Most of our children will hear about this conflict.  Our youngest children might just hear about it in passing or during prayers at church.  Our older children might be watching it unfold online.  If we fail to have these conversations we are, by default, giving the influence to the loudest voice in the room.

That voice may be the voice of someone who believes in a one-state solution which is an Arab state. Or someone who believes Israel should have every part of the land between the sea and the river. Or the voice of a moderate who desires peace and just solutions for all.

It is important to note that these voices are both inside and outside of the church. 

So how do we talk to them about what is happening?

How to Talk with Kids about the Israel-Palestine Conflict

Do your research on this conflict and the 80 years of history before this—before you’re an unwitting contributor.

This article from Boston University points out how this war is also one of information—including disinformation and misinformation, both of which play no small role in the ongoing conflict itself. How we dialogue contributes to a war of public opinion. 

So as a parent, be informed.  Read about both sides of the conflict, not just now, but over the past 80 years. 

Examine your own heart, your prejudices, your information sources. Spend time in prayer before speaking with your children.

Correcting Our Own Misinformation

Amy: In my work with refugees, we often mention how most refugees spend 10 to 15 years in the camps waiting for resettlement. 

One day I was speaking with some co-workers, and we started discussing the history of the Palestinians.  I realized that some Palestinians have been living in refugee camps since 1948.  That’s 76 years! 

We don’t read about this in the news.  We might see something about the Gaza blockade, or the statistics of population and poverty, but we very rarely get to see the longer lens view of history that led to this point.   

Donna: When we lived in the Middle East most of our time was spent inside the “Green Line” where Palestinians are Israeli citizens.  We heard about the West Bank and Gaza from time to time, but in my heart, I didn’t really believe the people lived under occupation.

One summer we spent a month in Bethlehem, and witnessed the realities of life under occupation. We visited the camps, experienced water being turned off for large parts of the city regularly, and saw the squalor from lack of adequate sanitation. This was a completely different world than the one inside the Green Line.  

Ask what information your kids have heard.  

When you talk with kids about the Israel-Palestine conflict, it’s valuable to first ask questions before you teach.

Have they heard about what’s happening? What have they heard?  How do they feel about it?  What do they want to know?

Teach empathy.  

As you choose to talk with kids about the Israel-Palestine conflict, it’s an opportunity for your child to develop and feel empathy for people they have never met. 

Find a couple of age-appropriate stories you can share with your child–one from each side of the conflict.  Help your child get to “know” real people and what they have experienced.

Remember the power of seeing through someone else’s eyes to defuse hatred and prejudice. 

Challenge older kids to research all sides of the conflict.

Remind them to always question their sources. Social media is not considered a trustworthy source—but many adult news outlets also report slanted or inflammatory headlines.

Encourage them to ask, “Who might disagree with this headline, and why?” 

 This webpage also suggests asking thoughtful questions of news stories, like these:

• From whose point of view is the news reported?
• What are the unchallenged assumptions?
• Do stereotypes skew coverage?
• Is the language loaded? 

Pray together for the people on both sides.  

Ask your child what is on their heart to pray about. 

If they’re old enough, let them lead you both through a time of prayer for the people of Israel and Palestine–maybe with an online prayer guide. Perhaps ask your kids if they’d like to give to a humanitarian organization to help victims from both Israel and Palestine.

Find ways to meet Jews and Palestinians in your community.  

Proximity–seeing Jews or Palestinians across a cup of coffee, or in your hometown–puts faces to what is often just a series of news updates on your phone.  

• You might already know Jews in your community or even through your church.  
• As Christians, it is less likely that you know any Palestinians, but we guarantee they are there in your community.  Look up Arab restaurants and go have a great meal.  Making it clear your purpose is to show kindness, ask if anyone in the restaurant is Palestinian. Ask them about how they are doing.  That bit of compassion will mean the world to them.

Remind younger children that they are safe.  

The news is filled with stories of the innocents–including children and women–who were killed in the initial attack and more of who are dying daily in the continued bombing of Gaza. 

It’s okay to feel sad and to grieve the loss of life as you talk with kids about the Israel-Palestine conflict.  But in light of anxiety-inducing headlines and conversation, remind your children that they are safe. Allow grief to soften your hearts to pray and advocate for those suffering.

Spend some time with your child walking through Scripture.

Start with the many ways that God calls His people to seek justice, fight oppression, care for the poor, and welcome the sojourner–i.e the refugee. 

These verses can get you started.

Isaiah 1:16-17 

“Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.”

Zechariah 7:10 

“Do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.”

Exodus 22:21 

“You shall not wrong a sojourner or oppress him, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt.”

Jeremiah 22:3 

“This is what the Lord says: Do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place.”

Deuteronomy 10:18-19 

“He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing. And you are to love those who are foreigners, for you yourselves were foreigners in Egypt.”

John 13:34-35 

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Donna Kushner, Amy’s mom, works with immigrants and refugees in her community. She and her family served overseas for five years among Palestinians. Donna loves embracing Jewish traditions, particularly in light of her husband’s Jewish background. She especially loves celebrating Passover because Jesus has a clear seat at the table.  

Amy Kushner, Donna’s daughter, loves her half-Jewish heritage.  She also spent five years living amongst the Palestinians, and another two years living in the Arab Gulf region.  She currently works at a refugee resettlement agency and is raising an inquisitive 7-year-old daughter and a stepson who is a senior in high school. 

Like this post? You might like

3 Reasons I Welcome Refugees (and Three Ways You Can, Too)

The Events of January 6: 5 Ways to Talk and Deal as a Family