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ways to parent with emotional health

Looking for ways to parent with more emotional health?

Here’s nine. (Start with, like, two.)

9 Ways to Parent with More Emotional Health

1. Don’t wake your child up by harping on them or giving them something they need to do.

2. Ask questions about the kind of person your teen wants to be, rather than assuming they share your goals.

3. In a dramatic situation or argument, be the deescalator: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

Read WHEN YOUR TEEN YELLS AT YOU: 8 WIN-WIN IDEAS

4. Discipline differently for developmentally-appropriate foolishness versus rebellion.

5. Don’t overfunction for your kids. Stop doing things they should be doing themselves. (Check out Me, Overfunctioning: 3 Bad Things It’s Teaching My Kids.)

6. Be the first one to admit what you did wrong, even if you feel your contribution was only 1% of the problem. Take 100% responsibility for your portion, and ask forgiveness for it.

7. If you’re looking for ways to parent with emotional health, one of the best is to think quick-slow-slow*: “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry” (James 1:19). This might look like

  • giving a thoughtful, measured consequence rather than a reactive one.
  • keeping a level head when your child is melting down. Respond with a gentle answer, which “turns away wrath,” rather than a harsh word that “stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
  • responding thoughtfully when your child says something that raises your inner eyebrows. Ask questions and offer reason. Resist the urge to respond out of fear or anger.
  • resisting shame-parenting, rather than exposing guilt. (This printable infographic might help.)

8.  Get down on the floor and play with your kids at least once this week–if not more.

9. Seek to raise your child according to God’s unique image in them (Genesis 1:27-28, Ephesians 2:10), rather than your own image.

 

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*Shout out to my dad, Gary Blunier, for the catchy take on this verse.